My 5 Minutes as God

4/29

today i just watched a butterfly take what may well have been its first flight. it was in a sewage gutter, it had black wings that shone an almost iridescent blue, and it looked like the most delicate black paper fan. as i watched it struggle to unstick its feet from the concrete and fight the wind that flattened its wings to the ground, i wanted so badly to pick it up and throw it into the wind. but i knew that, A. i might crush its delicate body. and more importantly, B. if it got to the air by some other force beside itself, it may not have the strength to stay airborne, and the impact when it finally hit the ground again would liquefy it.

so i watched it fight and struggle for however long i did. no doubt the old ladies at the fruit market down the street were wondering why this hen na gaijin was staring into a sewage ditch. i stayed there also to guard agains the cars on that narrow street; they would swerve for a human (however eccentric) but not for an invisible black paper fan on the ground.

and finally-- liftoff!! i gasped as the black paper fan with its blue iridescent wings floated up and down but steadily higher until she perched safely in a cedar tree, no doubt exhausted.

as i walked away, i wondered why people need presence of some personified God in their lives when there is so much divinity in the world in itself.