1st floor

i knew the new place was on the first floor of the same building as the old one, but which door? the other side of any of these doors concealed elderly salarymen swilling back shochu, or university students getting drunk on cocktails they couldn't afford-- but regardless of the bodies that contained them, it would be the questioning, frozen eyes staring back at me, telling me i don't belong.

unless i got lucky and chose the correct door....

i took a deep breath and pushed the red door. "Snatch" was playing on the TV in its new red niche, with the same sticker instructing all patrons to "Enjoy Yourself." the red bar, red chairs and trimmings with the kelly green Heineken light gave the bar an odd Christmaslike glow. Hacky and Noriko, already 3 sheets to the wind (in Hacky's case it was more like 4 or 5) bade me an enthusiastic hello. Tsugie poured me a beer.

yeah, I'd chosen the right door.

while it's definitely not the same place I'd made panda nesting doll towers, foraged friendships, tuned guitars, passed out, learned lewd Japanese slang, watched bizarre films and sang along to the Pogues so many times before and once had an intense conversation that lasted until sunlight filtered dust through the window--i could definitely get used to this place.

it's nice, having a little pocket of the red-light district of a dirty old town. and it's nice knowing everyone wants that, from San Fran to Bangkok and Aberdeen to Cape Town, Melbourne to Vancouver, and Buffalo to Oita.

quixotica

Donki Hote (i'm pretty sure it's a nihonglified version of Don Quixote as in the Man of la Mancha) is the most ranom store on the planet. you can find porn and fake Gucci bags right alongside the electronics which are next to the toiletries and porn adjacent to the winter hats and halloween costumes in any season in close proximity to the alcohol, snack foods and porn. it's a technicolor dream house of consumerism and no taste, and an unmitigated hell in a hangover.

did i mention they have porn?

but anyway, it's a sad state of affairs when... the "cool" thing to do in Oita on a Friday night is to dress like a tart and prance around inside Donki Hote. or if you're a guy, to hang out by the bike racks with cheap scooters while (actually not) watching the tartily dressed girls walk in and out of the store.

i need to start drinking on Friday nights again. preferably not in the Donki Hote parking lot.

saishou wa gu, jankenpon

the Chinese Zen master Joshu said, "a clay Buddha cannot cross water; a bronze Buddha cannot get through a furnace; a wooden Buddha cannot get through fire."

i think this is the underlying principle of jankenpon, a game routinely played in and probably invented in Japan. you might know it as "Rock, Paper, Scissors." the rules are simple. paper beats rock. rock beats scissors. scissors beats paper.

kids janken for who takes the first turn in a game of Go Fish, grown adults janken for the prize at Sushi Meijin on Sunday nights at precisely 8:00 (this is a spectacle i highly recommend). they janken for money; hell, there's even "strip janken" with an elaborate set of rules. if you and someone else are vying for a subway seat (or overly politely offering it to the other), the obvious solution: Janken.

Janken is the settler of disputes, the decider of who is worthy. no argument is too high-stakes or too petty for the gods of the rock, paper and scissors. in fact, i've seriously wondered why Emperor Hirohito didn't just challenge Harry Truman to a game of Janken. humanity could do well to recognize the simple fact that there is no ultimate weapon in the janken game of life, and to think otherwise will only bring about certain destruction.

and even though some smartass might violate that sacred law and come up with a Volcano, or nuclear bomb, or even the middle finger, everyone knows that there is no almighty win-all. all you have is your hand muscles, your gut instincts and the endless cycle of jankenpon. it's the ultimate equalizer.